My Views on Love

Hi guys! So I just got back from watching The Fault in Our Stars and while I found it enjoyable, it did not exactly move me and I shed no tear. This actually left me wonder why because usually I'm the kind of person who can easily cry over anything. Hell I even cried when the Singapore airport officials  took my peanut butter because they considered it as liquid. I cried when I accidentally erased some pictures on my camera. But why not on this? Why not on a movie where half of the people on the theatres were crying? Am I loosing my sense of compassion?

Well I guess the answer is because I do not really believe in love at first sight, and this movie pretty much portrays that as its major theme. While there are other major plots like battling with cancer and what not, the romance still dominates the movie. Don't get me wrong, I am totally cool with romance but I would not necessarily ship two underage teenagers who are extremely attracted to each other from the first day who later hanging out in the foreign streets of Amsterdam without any supervision while also being extremely sick......

Okay. Enough with my comments about the movie before someone starts throwing things at me. =)

This movie just got me thinking about my views on love and I'd like to share some of them. And what I mean by love is husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend kind of love. Not like the parents and kids kind of love, because I could make a whole new essay about that.
Remember tho, I'm not a love expertise. Not at all. I barely even have any experience on this field sooooo if my opinion is different with yours, then take a chill pill!

Back to the love at first sight thing. I'm not being negativistic (or maybe I am) but to me, love is something that is much deeper than that. It is possible for you to feel some sort of connections with certain people when you meet them, but can we label it as love? Now people have been telling me that love is beyond physical attraction. But what makes you attracted to someone at the first place? I'm sure 99% of the time it's physical appearance right? I have not yet found a person who is attracted to someone new because "he/she seems so nice", because it is impossible except maybe you're a psychic. And while physical attraction is completely normal (God knows how many times I have experienced this), I refuse to believe that love has taken over in this stage. It's this little thing called lust. And lust does lead to love sometimes, but the odds are very little because A. Most of the time it is one sided and B. Once you get to know the person better, he/she may not be the kind of person that you expected.

So what do I believe? I believe that true love started with friendship. I believe that by being friends, two people will get to know each other without being pretentious. Maybe friendship will not be as binding  as boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and it's gonna suck when the person that you care about has another love interest but hey, if it's true love then it will not go anywhere. Love cannot be rushed. And I was not saying that you cannot have a relationship, but when you do, make sure that you know what kind of person that you date. I'm just kind of sick and tired of people that are having relationships just to follow the trend. Call me old fashioned but I can never accept love as a trend.

I also found the term friendzone ridiculous because you will never know what will happen in your future. Maybe "friendzoning" someone will only prevent you in finding the love of your life. I don't know about you but I think friendship-based relationships would last longer. Who does not want to grow old with someone that cares about you the most? After all, the only possible way to stay faithful to your partner once the lust is gone is because you care about him/her, right?

That's why I adore Tony and Ziva, or Ron and Hermione, or Pete and Myka kind of romance. Tony and Ziva have known each other for 7 freakin' years before they took their relationship to another level. They've gone through pretty much everything together as co-workers and best friends; happiness, pain and show each other's good and bad side. Since Tony met Ziva, he had two serious girlfriends; Jeanne (even though it's an undercover op, but Tony did like Jeanne) and EJ. While Ziva dated Rivkin, Ray and had a brief romance with Adam. But in the end, they knew that they had each other's back. Even though Ziva ended up leaving, her departure affected Tony in a way that no other did. Why? Because Ziva is not only Tony's love interest. She's not only another chick that Tony wanted to sleep with. She's his best friend. THAT to me, is a true love.

I know they are fictional characters but so are Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters, right?

"One day you'll realize you lost a diamond while too busy collecting stones."

Pretty Much Everything That Pops To My Mind

Hi guys!!! It's been kinda long, is it? Well forgive me because at the moment, my life is just sooo hectic. Many things are happening at the same time and I kinda force myself to be more independent than ever but it's alright I guess. I mean I'm 18 and I'm going to college soon so I know I should start to take up my own responsibilities and stop blaming other people for things that happened to me. But I do wish that after all of these, I will be rewarded by something great. Like accepted at my targeted uni, perhaps?

Anyway, I'm happy that American Idol is on again!!! At least American Idol gives me something to look forward to every week. Judge me, but AI is still my favorite reality singing competition show.  I don't get how many people are preferring The Voice over AI. I tried to like The Voice, and for a second I did because the third season was pretty good, but the other seasons are just meh. I did have my favorites, like in season 5 I loved Jacquie Lee and she ended up as the runner up, but the show as a whole just did not grab my attention. I feel like the show is more about the judges than the contestants. The judges also ALWAYS praise the contestants and never give them constructive criticisms. I mean what's the point?! Sure Adam Levine is always hot and Blake Shelton is pretty funny, but if someone paid me to be a judge/coach I would be super critical instead of just giving comments like "you're always good", "you're gonna be big", "you never disappoint", and all those bullcrap every week. Look at the way Harry Connick Jr. gives specific criticisms to AI contestants. Even the sweet JLo has improved a lot in judging. It's pretty ironic, because no one from The Voice gets really famous, except maybe Cassadee Pope? No wonder though, sure Cassadee is pretty and talented, but she also already had a big fanbase since the beginning. The fact that The Voice runs twice a year is also a bit too much for me. They really should start taking care of the contestants and their post-show career instead of being too busy with the show and too caught up in ratings.

Okay, I should really stop ranting about The Voice. On a much more positive note, I love love loveeee 3 contestants from this season of AI. It's a sure thing that Season 13 is not the "best season ever" but at least I can see some of the contestants being famous. Those 3 contestants are Caleb Johnson, Caleb Johnson and Caleb Johnson Jena Irene and Alex Preston. I used to love Sam Woolf with all my heart but I agree that he lacks stage presence and very predictable. I still think that Sam can get famous someday, but he needs some time to mature. On the other side, Caleb, Jena and Alex are ready.

I love Caleb so much because he has tons of personality and never boring. He knows who he is as an artist, and even though he is a rocker, he is brave to take risks in singing non-rock songs and change them up. My favorite performance of him to date is no doubt, Skyfall. I honestly don't really like this song but when he sings it I was like "ooooh so that is how that song is supposed to sound like!". I searched him up on YouTube and I found his original song called Down To The River and the song has become my friend in my late night studying sessions since then.

Even though a rocker rarely wins, but I really do hope that he does so he can bring back rock and roll again to this era.

I also love Jena Irene because her voice is soo strong yet it is easily identified. Just like many people said, it's like the mixture of Katy Perry and Hayley Williams. My favorite performance of her is hands down, Decode. Decode is is one of the hardest songs to sing and she killed it. Even though she is into EDM, I feel like her voice suits rock songs very well. I hope she and Caleb sing together soon (and hopefully they will end up as the top 2???). It's crazy to think that Jena was a wildcard at the first place. I definitely think she is the black horse of this season. Her original song is pretty awesum too.


Lastly, Alex Preston. I love Alex because he is the definition of true artist. He is soo comfortable on stage and he never tries to be something he's not. His voice soothes me and I can listen to it anytime. His sound is so radio friendly. Fairy Tales, his original song, is arguably one of the most perfectly written songs by an Idol contestant. It gives me chills and it makes me happy.

I always come back to YouTube and listen to this song everytime I'm in difficult situations because it gives me hopes in a very strange way. I also love the fact that he once opened for Nina Nesbitt because Nina is also one of my favorite artists at the moment. I have no worries for Alex though, because I believe that he will keep producing musics whether he wins AI or not.

Other than Caleb, Jena, and Alex, I also love Jess Meuse. I think she still struggles with inconsistencies, but I still think she is interesting. She also replied me on twitter which is pretty cool. :)

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you that I found a new passion which is video editing! I found this new passion from my last holiday. Seriously though, holidays always make me productive! I mostly edit fanvids of my ship from NCIS LA, which is Densi, because it's harder for me to make a Tiva fanvid since they lasted for 8 seasons and I had to download all of their scenes from YouTube. Densi has only existed for 4 seasons so the process is much faster for me. I've uploaded 2 fanvids to YouTube already and the feedback has been great. I'm so happy that one of my videos has reached almost 7,000 views! But I honestly think that my editing is still suck-ish and I need to learn a lot (I'm really planning to master Sony Vegas instead of using iMovie) but I guess I have to concentrate on school first right now.

Last thing, I'M SO EXCITED FOR PHILLIP'S SOPHOMORE ALBUM. It will be released on May 19th and the title is "Behind The Light". Raging Fire, the lead single, is awesome and I'm sooo looking forward to hear the other songs. I'M SO EXCITED! I'm also so excited to watch Taylor Swift's concert in June! It was so hard to get the tickets but I hope it's gonna be worth it. WOOHOO! FINALLY, THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO!

Okay, I definitely should stop right now because this post is becoming a lot longer than I intended it to be. Bye people!

"Cross the river to the other side
I promise you that it's nicer here
Take your hands from your face, don't hide
There is no reason for your fear
No reason for your fear"
Fairy Tale - Alex Preston

Past, Present, and Future

Hi guys!!! So in this post I'm gonna write a little review on NCIS' emotional and heartbreaking episode titled Past, Present, and Future (S11E02).

So this episode is basically about trying to find some random terrorist named Parsa who has been attacking my babies and Gibbs badass-ly shot a bad guy named Mendez and then there is Fornell who people taught was Gibbs' target which is weird and it turns out that that he's not bla bla bla...

LIKE I CARE

The only thing that that people (or at least me) gave a damn about in this episode was TIVA.
Yes, because this episode is marked as Ziva's farewell episode (except if miracle happens one day and I'll wake up to the news that Cote de Pablo's coming back. PLEASE LET THIS HAPPENS) and people are dying to see the resolution that the writers give to the 8 years (8 YEARS, PEOPLE, 8 YEARS) of sexual tension between Tony and Ziva. Do they give Ziva a goodbye she deserves? Well, here's my opinion.

On the other side of the world, which is Israel, Tony is trying to track down Ziva who has been MIA. He met Ziva's old friend named Deena who turns out to be Ari's girlfriend before Ari was dead, shot by Ziva. Long story short, Tony found Ziva who is in emotional state because she hates the fact that she is now basically a killer (even though it's a part of her job) and it makes her sad that maybe, for every person that she killed, there are people who are crying over that person. She also told Tony that what she is now is not someone that she wanted to be. She decided to let go of her batch. Well, actually it's a lot more complicated than that but I'm too lazy to give out details lol. Tony failed to convince Ziva to go back to DC so they shared a long passionate goodbye kiss at the airport and yeah, 8 years of Tiva has ended right there!

Okay, first of all I loved the kiss. I loved how after the first long kiss, Tony gave her another one short kiss, as if he's not willing to stop. I loved how Ziva kept closing her eyes, as if she did not want Tony to stop. Little yet significant details. Second of all,  under any circumstances, Ziva David wanting a goodbye with NCIS is just too out of character. NCIS is basically her family. I remember clearly at the end of Season 10 she defined NCIS as "this is not about my job, this is about my family!", and now in second episode of Season 11 she wanted a goodbye? Okay NCIS, please stop with the inconsistencies or..... you'll start to be like Glee.

All complains aside, this is actually a very good episode. Maybe it is just me who is still in denial stage. Maybe no matter how good the episode is, it will still just makes me mad and complain about things. To be honest I can't deny that I'm a bit mad with Cote de Pablo for not continuing her contract. But it's her decision and I should respect that. I love Cote so much anyway and I know I'm gonna truly, deeply miss her.

Oh and I have some additions to my Tiva playlist which are:
Goodbye by Kesha & Under The Sun by Michael Weatherly :)

Yes Michael is the actor who plays Tony and Under The Sun was a song that he wrote inspired by Tiva, so how can it be not on Tiva playlist!!! The song is amazing and Michael's voice is sooo sexy, you should check it out!

"The hope is fading from my lips
When I kiss you with goodbye
Now when you let go of our last embrace
Please don't look me in the eye
Secret's out, that I just might care about you
You broke me, you're leaving
There's nothing I can do
I'll find a way to close the door
I want to say so much more but
I found you once, you're lost again
Two thousand miles took what could have been"

-Goodbye - Kesha

Stay strong, my fellow Tiva shippers. We can always count to a million and we will always have Paris! :')

TIVA Playlist

Hi guys! So this is late and tomorrow I'm gonna have mid test BUT I'm having the urge to make a playlist of songs that remind me of Tiva or describes their relationship or at least just gives me some Tiva feels.

YES, Tiva aka Tony and Ziva aka my favorite ship in the world from the CBS #1 show NCIS! In case you don't know.

AND in case you don't know, in the next week's episode..... *drumroll*
TIVA'S GONNA HAPPEN
Like no lie guys, there will be Tiva kiss and I know I will be the happiest girl and I shall not worry about anything ever again.
Or maybe I should, because this episode will be marked as Cote de Pablo's (the actress who plays Ziva)  last episode. My girl crush Cote de Pablo. Ikr?

*sigh* I know she is going for good. Hopefully.

OOPS MAJOR SPOILER. MY BAD.

Whatever, I don't want to let myself drawn in sadness all over again. Here's the playlist.
1. Breathe - Taylor Swift ft. Colbie Caillat
2. High Hopes - Kodaline
3. Mirrors - Justin Timberlake
4. Take Me Away - Phillip Phillips
5. Pretending - Glee Casts
6. Standing In Front of You - Kelly Clarkson
7. Nothing Compares - Pixie Lott
8. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away - The Beatles
9. Everything - Lifehouse
10. The Reason - Hoobastank

Prepare your box of Kleenex for the next episode, guys!



YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

Anthony DiNozzo is the Love of My Life

Do you know how it feels like to find a soulmate? It's supposed to be awesome, right? Well, except if your soulmate is a fictional character.

Hi guys!!! Sooo holiday is coming and I think it's time for some NCIS marathon!!! Seriously, this show is everything. The characters are so damn relatable and I love them with all my heart. They are like my babies. But if I had to choose one, it had to be The Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Gosh, my love for him is just unmeasurable. The last time I was this crazy for a fictional character was for Ron Weasley. Now I think Tony has been included to my list of "Favorites Fictional Characters of All Time" alongside Ron and Lupin.

Why do I love Tony that much?
Okay, I know some people find Tony childish, annoying and maybe sometimes stupid (which is totally ridiculous, how can an NCIS senior agent be stupid?). I admit it, sometimes Tony does not take things seriously. But time after time, he has proven that he is a very capable agent. He has his own ways though and just like Gibbs said, "you may not admire his methods, but you gotta love the results". Now imagine, what would NCIS be without Anthony DiNozzo? He is basically the glue of the team. He is the one that keeping things together. He is the class clown, without him everything will be so damn boring. Especially with Ziva and Gibbs who have the tendency to be high tempered and McGee who is basically a plain computer geek. I'm sorry, like I said before I love all of them so much but Tony is the one that makes the show interesting. And even though he is all goofy and bubbly on the outside does not mean he is always like that inside. Tony has been through a lot. He lost his mom when he was little, his love life sucks and his relationship with his father is not really good. And yet he still managed to make people smile. I can relate to this so much. I mean, people always see me as this optimistic girl but well, only God knows what I think and feel inside lol. Now everytime I get sad, I think to myself "what would Anthony DiNozzo do?" and trust me, it helps a lot. See? If Tony was a real person he would totally be my soulmate.

ANYWAY, it just saddens me that until now he has not found the one. I know deep inside he loves and cares about Ziva. And I said this not only because I'm a huge Tiva shipper. It is just shown through his actions and..... eyes. When Tony is with Ziva, he is willing to show his sensitive sides. He is willing to break down his walls. I know Ziva also feels the same way about Tony but idk for some weird reasons she keeps sleeping with some other guys, and it sucks. I mean, Ziva is very smart but she is not smart when it comes to love.  Look at her exes; Rivkin, Ray, and this Adam guy is not too convincing either. But please Gary Glasberg aka the producer of NCIS, please let Tony find the one ASAP. Ziva or not, it doesn't really mater. Of course it MATTERS  to me, but whatever. Tony deserves to be happy. And if you want to make me happy too , please let Tiva happen. GOSH I'M SO EXCITED FOR SEASON 11!!!

Oh and I found this amazing fan video about 95 Reasons to ship Tiva and it's just so damn beautiful it made me crying out loud.



PS: Seems like I take this show way too seriously.
PPS: Let me love you, Anthony Dinozzo.